First Date Game Show

Over the years I've become accustom to going on the ever popular "first date." I remember when I was about 15 and longed to start dating and assumed that all dates would be romantic... perhaps because anything that's forbidden has an element of romance or passion (at least for me) and I wasn't allowed to date until I was 16.

Well, I'd say that 98% of the first dates I've been on are not romantic... not even close. Instead the first date is usually a time for resume splashing, personality avoidance, and the ever popular mystified head-tilt that usually follows some strange statement or gesture, which is always out of context because you simply don't know the person at all.

Lately, I've associated this event with the idea of a game show. After years of practice, I can predict the questions I will be asked on a first date. This ability has allowed me the luxury of refining my answers over the years. I could choose to give answers which are intended to leave an air of mystery, or that make me more attractive (based upon what type of person I think they are), or blunt and brazen responses aimed to communicate the fact that I'm not interested. Ironically, in crafting and whittling answers over the years, it really does one of two things, 1) creates a situation where there really are wrong answers to questions asked. The problem is when you play "guess what the teacher" is thinking all the time and start to get good at it, you give answers that take you further and further away from revealing who you really are on a date, thus causing confusion as the real you comes seeping out after dating for awhile, or 2) cause you to over-expose your true self as a means of "take-it-or-leave-it" which rarely has good results.

Those of you who have been single for awhile know what I'm talking about. In fact, I'd say that on a first date (depending on how well you answer the first few questions, and can maintain the other persons interested) you invite several tiers of questions... for better or worse. But for those not privy to this oddity, I'm going to expose you to the types of questions first-daters get asked on a frequent basis. Tell me how you would answer the following, and think about how your answers would be refined over time. Let the game show begin...

General Resume Questions

• So where are you from?
• Where did you go to school?
• What did you study?... So what do you do with that type of degree?
• Where do you work?... What do you actually do all day?
• What do you do for fun?
• How many in your family? Where do you fall?
• Where did you grow up? What extra-curriculuars were you involved in?
• etc.

Those are the basic questions. I can usually see the mind a-tickin as my date processes my answers to compute compatibility. But just when you think the barrage of questions is over... oh, no... the more dangerous round two starts. Here are some possible questions, so take a whack at these.

Hidden Agenda Questions

• Have you ever seen Braveheart? (see this is a masked question, depending upon how you answer someone could either instantly reject you or praise you)
• Who are your heroes? Why?
• (For those who have served missions) What did you think of your mission president? (which again is a masked question, meant to assess your integrity and spirituality)
• Do you think it's ok to watch football on Sunday? (again... landmine!)
• Where do would you like to live if you had the chance? Where wouldn't you like to live?
• etc.

All of these are the deal-breaker questions. If you get it wrong (in their mind), it's almost like you can see the game show host say "oh, I'm sorry, that is incorrect" and then push the button that would take the floor out from under you. Yes, these questions are tricky... a bit like maneuvering through a field of hyper-sensitive landmines. At times I have seen my date's expression turn cold based on an answer I give... never to engage in more question asking... as if they instantly say in their heads "deal breaker!" Since when are dates interviews? Attraction is about chemistry, and most of the time chemistry happens with people that you least expect.

That said, there is one positive thing to extract from all of this. I've been told that I am a good interviewee when it comes to job interviews. Perhaps it is because I am constantly barraged by personal questions and have learned how to adapt to even the toughest questions linked with the highest personal consequences. So for that... let me send my one and only shout out to first dates. I bet you marrieds don't get that constant practice. You're jealous, I know...

Ultimately, we all know that dating is a game. I guess Guy Smiley had it right... in his game show "This Is Your Life"... you need to recognize who the voices are (or how to answer the questions) if you honestly do want what you see before you to be your life.