Infatuation Addition
I've been through the dating gauntlet in my day and have noticed a few things in myself and others. Today I'm going to talk about others. :) So I think the idea of love can be muted why what we believe love to be... however that idea has come. I've noticed the phenomenon I'd like to call "infatuation addition."
This can be described by those who love the first feelings of dating someone... the twitterpation, the wanting to be with that person all the time, the tingle you get when you hear from or touch them. That is a euphoric high that is so great... but as far as I know, that's not love. At least, as I've noticed my friends through the years in marriage, that's a great start, but love is something deeper... a real connect and trust.
I think infatuation can be addicting and mistaken for love. In having dated around the Mormon scene, I think this is a real concern. Many of my friends, after living in Provo (or like communities) for a time, have left without ever having been in a relationship. They have these trysts for a month or two with no commitment... and when one of them starts to come down from the high, they are gone. Was this in a church manual or something, cuz we might want to rethink this.
Here's what I know about love. My first real relationship, after high school, lasting longer than 3 months came when I was 33. I really cherished learning what it was like to not have someone freak out when the initial phase wear off, or condemn me for something trivial (like having a PMS moment, or a burned meal). I loved getting to know the quirks and fun things about this person. I loved the lack of drama and the feeling of peace I had in knowing he loved me.
I think after a great relationship like that, I'm a no drama relationship addict. The euphoria is fun, but it's so shaky and doesn't often last... I like the feeling that comes after, from a real connection.
It's about time we institute the ECTC (instead of the MTC)... Eternal Companion Training Center. I mean... common couldn't all of us benefit from a month or two of training? Singles maybe two months... ;)
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| Twitterpated |
I think infatuation can be addicting and mistaken for love. In having dated around the Mormon scene, I think this is a real concern. Many of my friends, after living in Provo (or like communities) for a time, have left without ever having been in a relationship. They have these trysts for a month or two with no commitment... and when one of them starts to come down from the high, they are gone. Was this in a church manual or something, cuz we might want to rethink this.
Here's what I know about love. My first real relationship, after high school, lasting longer than 3 months came when I was 33. I really cherished learning what it was like to not have someone freak out when the initial phase wear off, or condemn me for something trivial (like having a PMS moment, or a burned meal). I loved getting to know the quirks and fun things about this person. I loved the lack of drama and the feeling of peace I had in knowing he loved me.
I think after a great relationship like that, I'm a no drama relationship addict. The euphoria is fun, but it's so shaky and doesn't often last... I like the feeling that comes after, from a real connection.
It's about time we institute the ECTC (instead of the MTC)... Eternal Companion Training Center. I mean... common couldn't all of us benefit from a month or two of training? Singles maybe two months... ;)
Comments
As fun as it is that my girls love girly stuff and princesses, I'm going to do my darndest to make sure they know that "love at first sight" and "riding off into the sunset" is not the norm and even if you think you have it, it doesn't mean that working at a relationship won't eventually come. All honest and meaningful relationships require work and effort from both sides.