Marathon Memos

A couple of weeks ago I ran my first marathon. First and last, that is. Dude, running is hard. Fact is, I've never wanted to do a marathon... nope, it wasn't on my bucket list. Even when it was the trend in SoPro a few years back, I would watch with absolutely no guilt while scores of groupies ran half the distance to the SLC airport, while chuckling "sucka's"...

But then... the winds changed. I got a phone call from my sister. Her husband was finally graduating from med school, and she had two months before they had to start his residency in Kansas where she could run a marathon... something that has been on her bucket list for awhile. She told me that she was going to come train for it in Utah for two months prior, and because I wanted her and her family here and didn't want her to face the feat alone, I told her I'd do it too... thinking how hard could it be... the people from Biggest Looser do it, I certainly can. (Ha! Silly Camille)

My only real goal, folks, was to finish. Training was kinda a bust, because I had to work all day, but I did my best. The morning of the race, my dad was driving my sister and I up to the starting point and on the way said... "didn't the guy who ran the first marathon die?" All of the sudden, I perked up... say WHAT daddy-o? someone died doing this?... so why the heck am I doing this? I attribute this and all hard things in my life to a sign my mom had on the fridge for awhile saying "I can do hard things." This subliminal message finally got me to the point that in the moment my dad made that comment, I finally asked why do I do hard things?... In fact, I need to change that statement now to read: I do hard things for no reason! That said... I thought I'd give you a mile by mile break down of what I was thinking along the way... in case any of you are thinking "hey I'll go run a marathon today." :)

Mile 1- ..."it's the eye of the tiger" dun! dun dun dun... dun dun dun... dun dun DUUUUNNN...(complete with air fist pumps)

Mile 2- Ahhh... so this is what a sunrise looks like... pur-dey.

Mile 3- Those horses are so cool all running along the fence... kinda like I'm runnin' with the brumbies... MATE... I love Jim, I wonder if he got married.

Mile 4- I'm funny :)

Mile 5- Um, so that one hot guy over there is super cute all running slow like me... maybe we would have cute slow running babies.

Mile 6- Why is there such a long line at those porta-potties? Oh... and dude, why are those guys all running into the bushes?... Ewe!

Mile 7- Ya, I'm stopping traffic right now... you hold all those cars Mr. Police Officer... it me, Princess Marathon-for-a-day!

Mile 8- Where is that hot boy???!?! (panic)

Mile 9- Maybe if I run a bit faster I can find that hot boy again... ooooo what should I say when I catch up with him? "Hey, I like fast boys" Um no... "Hey, do you give piggyback rides?" No... ug, think... think...

Mile 10- Scratch that, (gasping for breathe) I'll stay single.

Mile 11- This is way pretty, the canyon looks like a picture... mental snap shot.

Mile 12- That kink in my knee is starting to get annoying.

Mile 13- No, no... my knee is totally fine. My knee is FINE!

Mile 14- My knee is soooo NOT fine! OUCH! Medic!

Mile 15- I think one of the Three Nephites just gave me miracle medicine! I didn't know they did marathons!

Mile 16- What knee problem?... Oh... and I like Gatorade.

Mile 17- I see the mouth of the canyon, but why is it not getting closer... ug, I've never longed to see Will's Pit Stop this much.

Mile 18- Stupid marathon... why did I sign up for you? I hate running!

Mile 19- Yeah nineteen... my favorite number! :)

Mile 20- I reallllly hate running, but at least I'm out of the freakin' canyon.

Mile 21- Ahhh Riverwoods, I remember this is where my Provo Half Marathon ended. Oh, half marathon, I miss you.

Mile 22- Is that a lake of water up there... am I seeing things? Am I in a desert? Wait, are those orange slices?!

Mile 23- Would it be bad if I walked the rest of this thing? Who would know? (text message from family: We're all at Will's Pit Stop to see you)... dang!

Mile 24- Yeah family!... Wait... complete emotional break down, where did you come from?

Mile 25- There's Laura!!! Walk Laura... walk Laura... so I can catch up!

Mile 26- 0.2 miles!?!?  $%##^%!!!!

Finish Line- (waving my face, sucking up the tears) I'd like to bear my testimony of marathons, I know them to be true... and most of all I know them to be OVER!