Mini-Vans

I'm really not sure why this is, or what behavioral conditioning had to take place for this to happen, but I just realized that every time I'm driving and I see a mini-van I immediately get impatient and annoyed. It's not that I don't support families, but mini-van drivers are in a class all their own. I think the assumption is that these mini-vans are slow and disillusioned into thinking that they create the road rules... It's almost as if I can see them in their van saying, "I'm going to teach that aggressive driver a thing or two... can't you see that I am the exception to any and all rules?" I'm fine with those who obey the speed limits and such, but these are the "I'm gonna stick it to you" people that self-righteously try to teach everyone else a driving lesson. I have to take a calming breath as I write this... wow, who knew that "bell" caused me to foam instead of salivate at the mouth.

But because I realized this drastic reaction, I do feel like it is time to correct this behavior. I'm going to try my best to list reasons why people would own a mini-van:
  1. They are saviors to the community, who felt that driving a large car that seats several people would be a way in which they could act as a voluntary transport to soccer or choir practice.
  2. They had to grow up with a station wagon, and only dreamed of what technology provides for families on the road today. Either that or they support their children's constant need to be watching TV at all times.
  3. They provide entertainment for nearby drivers... allowing them to play the Trust-your-instincts Game, relying solely on their directional instincts instead of being able to see signs or landmarks due to the mass of a car in front of them.
  4. They are completing the "Frogger" circle of life, in that you can't have all traffic go the same speed. Someone has to give the froggie a break in traffic.
  5. It is a place in which to put all of their "I have amazing kids" stickers (because their fridge was getting too full) which is poetic justice when you drive by and see a fight ensue in the back of the car.
  6. They had to have a contraption that contains all of the lost cheerios, spilled milk... and
...alright... I'm not sure this list is helping... can I get a little help?
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Comments

Lori said…
I HATE minivans! There are such better cars to haul your kids around(in my opinion)! They are sooo ugly! I am not helping your list at all but I just can't bring myself to list positives about them! And I totally know what you mean, why the heck do they drive so slow? Grrr.
February 3, 2009 at 2:26 PM
Anonymous said…
Down here in Orange County it's all the luxury car drivers that have that attitude. Especially the newly licensed 16 year olds who think they are Lightning McQueen. They're the ones that make me want to install machine guns on my car.
February 3, 2009 at 8:32 PM
Camille said…
Jeremy, you're comment made me laugh out loud (literally)... I LOVE the machine guns on cars... can we start advocating for that?!?!

Lori, I totally agree, there are much better cars to haul the family in!!!
February 5, 2009 at 8:42 AM
Lisa said…
Ok, sista...(long time no see - come visit me in my new house!) I do not currently own a minivan, but if you saw what we went through to get our 3 kids in our little car - or our truck, for that matter - you would understand the need for for a minivan. Yes, there are other vehicles that would fit more than 5, but they are not as gas or user-friendly when you're lifting children in and out, buckling in all 3 of them because your car is too small to make it easy enough for them to do it themselves! Driving a minivan will not somehow magically change my driving (I'll wave as I pass you on the freeway) - and then we'll be able to take you with us somewhere instead of taking 2 cars just to get 1 more person around! No bumperstickers, no tv, just a car that is big enough for my ADORABLE kids and I! And, if you saw the truck I drive now, you would know for sure that a minivan is shorter in front than our truck! ha ha ha Fun times, again...debating as usual! Thanks Cami! :)
February 5, 2009 at 5:56 PM
emuhle said…
i'm so with you on this one... my parents went through our entire existence at home without ever owning a mini-van, and i'm convinced that i will never have to, either. i refuse to give into the stereotype of mormon mom in the minivan... yay for suv's!
sorry, that wasn't much help, was it :)
February 6, 2009 at 12:21 PM
Unknown said…
I've been considering getting a minivan. It was a definite no for a long time, and many SUV's really don't get much lower gas mileage, but alas, they cost much more up front. So I can keep cramming my kids into a car that doesn't fit or drive two vehicles until I can afford what I really want, or I can get a minivan. My other alternative is to buy a monstrous suburban, but I'm really favoring a smaller vehicle I don't have to jump into while holding onto the crazy driver handles, or that my children can get into without my assistance. But there will be no DVD players in my vehicles.

However, I don't see the minivan drivers with all that attitude here in Colorado. I think it is more of a Utah thing, maybe California too, I don't know. But the people with attitude here are the Subaru drivers. Just to start with all the obnoxious bumper stickers, and then many of them seem to have the same mean facial expressions and lack of grooming concepts (of course, not all, some of my friends drive subarus). It might be whatever vehicle you find the most of in your community is the one with the most attitude, and the one that evokes the most dislike.
February 22, 2009 at 10:05 PM
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