The X-Factor
I just have to send my thoughts on "dating" out into the void. Sometimes I feel so misunderstood. Dating is a conglomeration of sputtered sentence fragments and jostled verbage hoisted into an arena of tension. Are we really expected to walk away from such situations with "true love"... what a gamble! I often sit back and watch others- some aren't so good at "the game," some used to be good, and some are so good at reading situations accurately and getting what they want, but in the process loose themselves. This makes me question if they knew who they actually were in the first place- or if they are just chameleons trying to adapt to the color, temperature, and atmosphere of the person they think they like in the moment (but in a few days will ironically despise). Isn't falling in love with someone for their quirks and endearments what makes it love? If not what makes it so? A few words cleverly exchanged back and forth, a mutual attraction... is that all? Or is it more? Perhaps the inevitable X-Factor?
In my experience, the X-Factor is what triggered my devotion for others for up to years at a time. Why? Very curious that the "undefined" would be the very thing keeping me attached to a guy thinking that he is the perfect match for me. Is this naive? If I can't define it- perhaps it is outlandish.
Many find this to be endearing- and perhaps it is when it is requited. But what about when it's not... it's pain that hollows the soul. However, each experience teaches a lesson... or at least we inevitably walk away learning something good or bad, which effects our next relationships. What if each of us are learning different lessons that potentially clash... doesn't that decrease our chances of making a relationship work? So often I am grateful in hindsight that things didn't work out... and every so often I wish that I could do something about preventing a guy from walking away. Awwww- dating. I love to hate it.
Ultimately, friends who are married... consider it the miracle it is... or at least pat yourself on the back for your cleaver antics that won you the prize that now sleeps beside you- and then in an oh so tactful way, feel free to teach the unteachable (if you still remember). Perhaps it isn't that we need all the random, perfunctory set-ups, but we need creative ideas about how to play "the game." :)
In my experience, the X-Factor is what triggered my devotion for others for up to years at a time. Why? Very curious that the "undefined" would be the very thing keeping me attached to a guy thinking that he is the perfect match for me. Is this naive? If I can't define it- perhaps it is outlandish.
Many find this to be endearing- and perhaps it is when it is requited. But what about when it's not... it's pain that hollows the soul. However, each experience teaches a lesson... or at least we inevitably walk away learning something good or bad, which effects our next relationships. What if each of us are learning different lessons that potentially clash... doesn't that decrease our chances of making a relationship work? So often I am grateful in hindsight that things didn't work out... and every so often I wish that I could do something about preventing a guy from walking away. Awwww- dating. I love to hate it.
Ultimately, friends who are married... consider it the miracle it is... or at least pat yourself on the back for your cleaver antics that won you the prize that now sleeps beside you- and then in an oh so tactful way, feel free to teach the unteachable (if you still remember). Perhaps it isn't that we need all the random, perfunctory set-ups, but we need creative ideas about how to play "the game." :)
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Anna Krubsack